Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
