I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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