Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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