Who did Billy Mays play for?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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