remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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