What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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