school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
