she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize