Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
