That's intense
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
