i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
