Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize