He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
