I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
