Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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