I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
