are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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