I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
