The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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