Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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