im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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