he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
