Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
