i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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