Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
