Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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