I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
