pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
