sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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