He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
