Will you blow on my dice?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
