He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
