I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to align my fucking chakras
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
