Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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