evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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