You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Terrible idea I love it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
