Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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