Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
