You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
there is glitter all over my balls
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