You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
