I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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