College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
