It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
