Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
