Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
