drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
