he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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