Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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