you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
this boner is exhausting
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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