I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
