I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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