its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Help. Why am I so naked?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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