All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
