Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
