it was like eating out sand paper
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
