I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
