maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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