I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
