MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
