What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
