He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
