wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
