Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
