sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Someone came in the potted fern
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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